Brain Scan Clear

 Well finally, some good news.  My brain scan was clear of cancer.  As usual, I got nothing up there.  A little update regarding the Chemo.  They actually give the Keytruda along with the Chemo drugs.  I thought it would be given last.  Anyway, I am doing ok.  Still no ill side effects.  Just Monday, while Jennifer was here, I was super light headed.  But it only lasted the one day.  I have not had any nausea sickness.  My appetite seems to be normal.  I'm losing weight, but because I want to, not because of the cancer.

I'm still working part time training my bosses daughter, to do my job.  Isabel is catching on pretty well. I am proud of how she is coming along, and I will feel good leaving her in my position when I choose to remove myself from the company.  But I don't see that any time real soon.  But it is something I have to consider.

Today was a good day.  I had lunch with a good friend and it was nice to just get out.  Tomorrow I will be with M as we are going shopping for stuff to make some tonics for killing cancer cells.  Also buying some veggies that help reduce cancer cells too, thanks to Candyce sending me the information.  Also, I am hoping to get my CBD tincture that M got for me to help me sleep at night.  This only sleeping for 1 to 1.5 hours at a time is for the birds.

Saw the pulmonologist on Friday, and Dr, Hendrickson drained another 1.5 liter of fluid.  She seems to think that the fluid will stop after a couple more treatments.  With that said, the good news from her was that I am not a true candidate for a drain tube.  Yeah,,,, more good news!!  She said because it is coming back at a slow pace, the best idea for me is to keep coming in the office and let her drain it if needed.  Besides, she said the drain insertion and removal are not an easy task.  So, I told her I was good with her decision and lets move forward with the hopes that the fluid stops coming back, but if it does, she drains it. :)

OK, enough for now.  I have an early morning tomorrow as we are going to the store first thing. Praying for another good day.

-jan 

Results are in - Stage 4 Cancer

 Talk about being shocked. Shocked as HELL I might add... this is my blog and I can use whatever language I want!!!  Since I quit smoking in 2004, I made life choices at that time to better my health.  Eat better, focus on exercise and better mind set.  Twenty years later, what did it get me?  I cannot believe this.  The cancer I have has metastasized to my lymph nodes, Right lung and 6th rib on left side.  These are the results of my PET scan I had done yesterday.  I still have a brain scan to do to see if it has spread there.  My chemo starts Feb 9th.  I am to get FOUR rounds of chemo every 21 days.  Hoping that it and the medication it is hooked up with stop the cancer from spreading and keep my white blood cells to a normal.  At least I believe that is what we are hoping for.  Honestly, there has been so much told to me, talked over with my kids and doctors that I can't keep it all straight.  I just want to focus on the NOW and do one step at a time and get this going.  When the chemo is done, it is my understanding that at that point I will start Keytruda which has good results in stages 3 and 4 cancer of my type and numbers.  We are working towards a 1 - 5 year outcome of this treatment.  I am pushing for more.

My plan to move forward is to get some counseling.  I feel it is going to be the right choice for me since I live alone.  I have my kids and a few friends, but I can already see how it is taking a toll on everyone around me.  I just feel I need to turn to someone who is trained in this field to help patients like me.  I am also going to check into Cancer Nutrition, as it has been brought to my attention that cancer feeds off sugars....I just need to be clear of what I can and can't eat.

This is enough for now.  When I get more results I will once again come back and write down my thoughts.

Prayers.... Live each day as if you will not be here tomorrow.  You are not given a guarantee  

  

Starting out 2024 in hospital

 I can't make this up.  After my last post, my breathing got even worse so I had to call and see if I could get in sooner to the doctor than Jan. 19.  I was lucky enough to get penciled in with a different dr. on Jan. 3.  After my visit with Dr. Hoffman, he felt I had severe Bronchitis and sent me to have a chest x-ray.  After that was over my tech was quite concerned and did not want me leaving. Long story short, I was heading home to contact my dr. when I got a call from him telling me to go check myself in to ER asap.  My right lung was surrounded with fluid and it needed to be drained now.  Once back to the hospital, and I get checked in, I am hooked up to monitors like crazy.  Checking my heart, BP, taking my blood, checking my oxygen and setting up all kinds of tests to be done. After 3 days, the end result was;  2 liters of fluid drained from my lung... that is the max they drain, so lung does not collapse.  I still have fluid and hoping it doesn't refill.  Once the fluid was drained, the chest x-ray showed a 1.2 nodule on my upper right lung and other stuff.  Most of my tests and scans came back with no issues, and that was good. I am now home, taking it easy and waiting for the Pulmonologist to contact  me and get me on the calendar.  Once I see them, hopefully we can determine the next step...whether what I have is treatable via antibiotics or if the nodule needs to be biopsied and treat for whatever cancer I have.

Breathing is "better" than when I wrote in December, but I am by no means 100%.  I still move slow, especially stairs, and I seem to cough more than I did before they drained the fluid.

I have a wonderful family who is keeping me close with prayers and love, and so many good friends have reached out as well.  My team of doctors has been wonderful so far, so i can only pray it gets better from here on out.

I need to go lay down before an errand I have to do.

When I know more, I'll try to get it on here.

🙏🙏🙏

2023 in Review

 Wow.... here we are, December 30, 2023.  One more day and we start a New Year.  I can't believe another year is gone.  I started this year with a piriformis syndrome issue, and still working on getting it fixed.  I also somehow broke my right foot on the outside edge and was in a walking boot for several months.  Low and behold, I am struggling with it again; had it checked out and told it is not broke, but something is going on.  So I am working on getting that fixed again.  I still am dealing with my IBS, stomach issues I've had for the past few years.  The pain is not fun, and the issues that come with it are no fun as well.  I currently had and endoscopy and found I have an infection in my stomach lining, so just starting treatment for that.  Still doing my acupuncture and Chinese herbs for body issues, and get some relief.  Travis referred me to Sonja, who does lymph massage.  It is a strange massage, but I do feel some relief from her as well.  Funny that before I started going to her I discovered a IG person talking and teaching about opening up your lymph track to help make the body run smooth.  To learn this and have Sonja working on me, I am amazed at how the body works.  Definitely something we are not taught in school but should be.  I can't believe how much everything is connected in one way or form.  One last thing that I started battling in Dec, is my breathing.  The cold air hit and I am struggling big time to breathe.  I made an appt, with my dr so I can get a referral to a pulmonologist .... I need to figure this out... sooner than later.  2023 also brought lots of bowling and fun with my friends.  It also brought, in one month, 5 deaths. Many hearts hurt in November, even mine, as two of the deaths touched home.... they were friends.  I also took on an older cat that needed to be rehomed after its owner passed away.  I wish I had great things to say but so far, all I do for this cat is clean its cat box and feed / water her.  She hides from every time I am home.  I am trying Feliway but so far it is not giving me the results it claims.  It's been since Dec 4th when I acquired her, and even with Candyce's help, no progress.  If she doesn't come around by the end of January, I may make the decision to rehome her again, as I can't believe this is good for her.

My goal for 2024 is my health.  I truly am doing everything in my power to heal.  I do not want to die.  Death scares me.  I will turn 67 in January, and honestly, I am feeling older than that.  Right now I can't even walk up stairs without being out of breath.  I know exercise is part of aging and you need to do it, but when you hurt like I do, and have the struggles I have gone through now for TWO YEARS... it gets harder and harder to move forward.  But I keep doing it as I remind myself almost daily that I told these words to my sister when she was complaining about hurting and moving... "You need to move, even if its a little bit at a time".  I need to follow my own advice and I am going to try really hard to do it.  I also want to make time to go see Jennifer and her family. I miss my grandkids tremendously.  I also want to make more time for Ethan and Kalyn so we can know each other better.  Ethan and I and Candyce have a "bowling lunch date" in the future.  Maybe I'll check into this weekend or next.  It is my birthday gift to him.. to take him to lunch where ever he wanted.  He told Candyce he wanted to bowl with me,,, so we're going to make it happen.  :)

Checking In....

 Can't believe August is almost over.  Another summer almost gone, and I have not been able to enjoy it.  I have been in PT once a week since the beginning of July.  After my last cortisone shot from Dr. Joyce, and got no relief, we both agreed that my body has had way too much cortisone, and it needed a break.  Not only that, but I have never felt relief from the shots, so I'm going to say NO from now on when it is suggested for any type of treatment.  PT has helped a little bit, but not all the way, I know it's a slow progression, but I want faster results.  I met with Emily this past week and again this next week.  David filled her in on my situation and was hoping she would be able to advise me.  After our talk, she agreed that I have been doing everything she would have suggested or recommended... so from here, we are tweaking the exercises David gave me and see what happens.  She was glad to hear that I had a massage on the piriformis as that was going to be her first move.  But because Tracy worked it really well, I was quite sore, so Emily decided to hold off and teach me a new glute exercise.  I am booked through September for sessions.  Not sure if I will continue as this could go on forever and I am tired of losing time off of work.  Each time I go, it's at least 2 hours off my paycheck.  Not to mention more, if I have other appointments that same week.  I can't tell you when I last put in a full 80 hours.

Marco and I did go to the Clark County fair 2 weeks ago.  Spent 3 hours walking around.  He found a Star of David, yet we didn't go back and purchase it.  I wished we had, and I tried to talk him into going back but we were pretty much done with that place and didn't want to double back.  Hot and sunny but with a breeze blowing that was just enough to keep it cool.  Afterwards we went out to dinner and then he came over after.

Bowling is about to start up again.  Thursday league starts first week in September. I have been to practice a couple times and can get 3 games in for sure.  Went last weekend and rolled 5 games to see how I felt, as the 40 Over tournament is next Sunday and I entered myself to bowl.  Do hope I can bowl good enough to get close to the cut.  That would please me enough since I have not bowled them for several months.  As for leagues, only doing Thursday this year but letting people know I will sub if they need one.  My back just can't take two leagues.

Luke turned 14 this year.  Such a nice-looking young man.  Can't believe how time flies.  Christopher also had a birthday and turned ONE.  Holy cow... next up is Candyce.  She will be 37.  Just crazy.... 

Bobby has been in town these past 2 weeks putting in new flooring at his Portland house that Dennis lives in.  I have not seen him and think he goes home today.  I miss him. Hoping he would have reached out to me for just a short visit, even it was me having to go over there; but never heard a word.  I know, I could have reached out to him, but sometimes I feel like my kids need to reach out to me and make plans.  Tracie and Jenn are getting good about calling me which I truly enjoy.  Candyce checks in with me every now and then and I am glad about that.  It makes me feel warm and loved. 

My good friends Lou and Harold Hess are not doing well.  Harold has terminal cancer throughout his body, and I know Lou is still fighting her cancer.  It's been a couple weeks since she last wrote me an update, and I am getting concerned.  This is not like her.

More later....

Round Two....

 Here we are, almost half way through March.  Where is the time going?  It seems like 2023 just started, and frankly, I have not been able to enjoy it.  

My second cataract surgery was a success.  My final appointment is this next week and I'm so excited that this is all over.  I can't believe how much a cataract can disrupt your vision.  I now see, 20/20 out of both eyes and only have to use readers to see up close.  Other than that, the world is a much BRIGHTER place and so in focus!! 😊

Going back to what I thought we had figured out about what my injury was and needing a possible surgery is not correct.  I had my follow-up with the surgeons nurse and apparently, I do have a bulge at L3, and it's inflamed (hot) but does not require surgery.  At least now.  My pain is in the Piriformis Muscle that lines the top of your leg joint to your pelvis.  It runs under the glute muscle and almost always gives off false diagnosis of possible spine injury or other.  Anyway, it showed "hot" as well on the body scan so I have been referred to a Physiatrist for relief.  In a waiting game for them to get the referral and give me a call.  In the meantime, I looked up things I could possibly do for relief, and it shows exercises I was doing while in PT few months back.  They didn't help then, but I keep trying to do them again, and I don't feel the stretch they are talking about, I only feel pain. So, I will wait to hear from this new Dr. and see what the plan is and how we will treat it.  Hear me now, I am OVER all this.  I want to go out for walks and get on my bike again before I can't do that anymore....

My sleep study results are in.  Mild apnea, which is what I had before.  Not much has changed,  Recommendation;  wear the mask at night.  I can't do it.  I may try the new head piece but only once the pain is under control or cured in my Piriformis.  

The only other thing I am working on, and have been all my life, is to lose weight, which seems to be key.  Well, DUH!!!  Get me the help I need for that and to keep it off and all will be peachy!  I hate that each Dr. I go to, throws in that I am obese.  Do you not think I know that??  How about leading me in the right direction for the right help?  Stop assuming that I am diabetic, or not eating healthy.  No, I am not exercising as I can't due to the pain.  Do you think I don't know that I need to do that to help?  I KNOW what needs to be done, I just can't do it all right now.  I can change my diet, once again, which I have done for the past 20 years.  Back then when I could exercise, the weight still came back after I lost it.  That is my issue.  So this is why I have chosen to go Holistic / Chinese Herbs to help.  Western meds and doctors don't have a clue.  You as the patient have to do all the ground work for your problems and guess who gets paid for all of what you find?  The Drs. do.  😡 I know I am rambling now so this is a good stopping point.  Hopefully, after I get on a long term schedule of what things I am taking to help burn visceral fat around my belly, I will have some progress to share.  In the meantime, I just started this new weight loss journey (once again) and hope to get better results.  I see my Chinese Herbalist dr. on Monday, so hopefully he will help me with my metabolism and other issues I have going on.   In the meantime, soak in every sunny day, enjoy every beautiful sunset and breathe fresh air.  Enjoy Life to its fullest  

February Thoughts

 Today is a beautiful February day! Sunny sky's with a light breeze.  I got off my butt and went for a short walk to take in fresh air.  I would have loved to have walked more, but due to more health issues, I could only get in a short one.  God, I really am trying to do this "life" right, but for some reason, once again you have put up a pot hole in my path.  When does my break start?

I have undergone my first cataract surgery.  Results are amazing.  Can't wait for round 2.  I know my vision will be so good by then.  Back in June of 2022, after a bike ride, I somehow injured myself.  Here we are in Feb. 2023 and I finally have a diagnosis.  It may require another back surgery, which I am not looking forward too, but if it takes my pain away, then let's get it done. I will know positive on this in early March.  Also in March is a follow-up on a sleep study and a routine colonoscopy.  Something I need to stay on top of due to colon cancer on my maternal side.

I mentioned a blog past, that I was back in touch with my half brother.  Unfortunately he notified all family member his wife is battling full body cancer among liver disease.  Staying in touch and always sending good thoughts / prayers via CaringBridge.  Her kids are amazing at keeping friends and family up to date on her wellbeing.  God, watch over that family please, and only give them what they can handle... as you have done to me.

I turned 66 this year!  Yazza!! My heart tells me I am not this old, but my body is telling me different and it scares me to no end.  I have so much I still want to do, yet God, these bumps in the road are not making it easy.  I miss my kids every day.  I wish I was able to be a part of all their lives in one way or another.  I wish I was able to be with my grandkids more and have one on one hugs, laughs and conversations.  I want them to know me... really know me.  I'm building up my vacation time again so hopefully I will be able to take a trip at the end of this year. 

 I ramble a lot about this and that, but this is fact:  More than not I feel lonely,  I have more acquaintances in my life than friends.  I am an introvert, so I won't be reaching out too often to get close to many.  I apologize a lot to those that are close to me for my actions.  I am stubborn, yet funny and hopefully fun to be around.  I love to travel, see new things, and mostly, do stuff WITH people rather than on my own.  Although, I do like being on the beach alone....that is peaceful to me.  Maybe that will be a plus when the time comes to inherit the Cloverdale house. Also may be the time to see if my soul mate really exists.

I suppose I will end this blog for today.  I love you kids... I miss my sister.  I miss my voice......